


Hidden Gender

by MandolinDoodler



Category: Brave (2012), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Female Hiccup - Freeform, Gender Identity Crisis, Genderbending, Merida is the best friend, Stoicks just trying to keep Hiccup safe, supportive Astrid, supportive tuffnut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandolinDoodler/pseuds/MandolinDoodler
Summary: Hiccup is forced to present as male from a young age - a way to save her from a lot of grief (on top of what she already deals with for being a runt) and the bonus of giving Stoick more of an excuse to not remarry. She’s nineteen and living on Dragon’s Edge when she realizes she doesn’t have to keep it up. She’s earned the village’s respect, earned her place in the tribe, and what gender she presents as shouldn’t change any of that.Alternately, this is the story of Merida and Hiccup becoming friends, and how Merida helps Hiccup come to terms with her gender.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Merida (Disney)
Kudos: 42





	Hidden Gender

The first time he ever dares to be a girl is on a visit to his parents' old friends on the mainland. He's told his mother used to come through here on her travels, that she was so excited when Hiccup was born just months after their friend's daughter was born. Had his mother still been alive maybe they would have made the trip sooner. Instead, Hiccup is almost 14 when he first meets the Scottish family.

Fergus is a mountain of a man. He could land on Berk and no one would ever suspect he wasn't a viking - the peg leg would only help him blend in. Elinor is elegant. A woman whose very presence demands respect but not in the terrifyingly intimidating way that some women on Berk hold themselves. Merida is like fire. She's passionate and wild and barely held together and Hiccup's heart flutters a bit when she doesn't hesitate to literally drag him around her home. Harris, Hubert, and Hamish - the triplets - are like their older sister. They're little balls of flames that sneak around the castle and like to look through the inventions in Hiccup's notebook.

Overall, he likes the family. But clearly his dad waited until recently to tell them that Hiccup is a boy and not a girl like Valka's letters told them so long ago. He only knows this because Merida asks about it the second they're alone.

"So they just told you to be a boy? Nobody gave ya a choice?" That's a weird way to phrase it, Hiccup thinks, because isn't everyone told what they are when they're growing up?

"Weren't you told to be a girl?" Hiccup counters.

"Aye, but that's what I was born as. Plus I've never wanted to be a boy, so it doesn't matter." She pauses, then adds, "have you ever wanted to be a girl?"

He's never really thought about it. Being a boy on Berk mostly just means answering to "he" and "him". Ruffnut is a girl, but she wears clothes like him and Tuffnut. All girls are expected to learn to fight dragons just as well as the boys. With his mother gone, he still learned the wifely chores the other girls learned (and he knows that Tuffnut and Snotlout have also learned these chores). At this point, the only change presenting as female would bring is officially stripping him of his birthright as heir (not really a loss, to be honest) and opening the door for him to be married off to another tribe.

"I guess it's never really mattered to me. Either way I'm a disappointment to my tribe, but being a girl gives them an easier way to get rid of me." Hiccup suddenly wishes Merida hadn't asked. He's never given so much thought to his gender, particularly the implications of it in regards to politics.

"Let's give it a try, anyways." The look on Merida's face is a mix of defiance, determination, and understanding. Hiccup comes to learn that she likes choices - for herself and for others. That Hiccup never got a choice makes something in her boil, so she makes it her job to give him a choice. "Maybe it won't change a thing, but wouldn't ya rather say you chose to be a boy than say you were forced into it?"

Over the week of his visit the two take advantage of any time away from their parents. In the privacy of Merida's room, the princess puts Hiccup in her dresses, encourages him to loosen the bindings on his chest, calls him a girl outloud to solidify the idea of it and make him believe it even for just a moment.

"Isn't she pretty?" She addresses her brothers one day as they flip through Hiccup's sketchbook on Merida's bed. They each look up to analyze their new friend. The dress is a bit too big by design, but Merida has done what she can to make it fit a little more firm, hug his waist and emphasize the small curve of his bust. He does make a pretty girl and the triplets give their enthusiastic agreement.

By the end of the week, Hiccup decides he still doesn't have strong feelings about the matter. He'll continue to identify as a boy when he leaves, but he can admit there's a lightness in his chest, now. Even if he knows he doesn't have a say on Berk, this week of exploration makes him feel like it's his choice, like he has control over something in his life. It's an empowering feeling and he's thankful for Merida's meddling.

Years go by and they keep contact through letters. When dragons join Berk and Hiccup gains the fastest of them all as his best friend, he starts taking a trip every summer to Dunbroch to see his friend. Sometimes she'll shove him into a dress, usually a new one she's gotten that she claims she wants to see from an outside view and not just hanging up. His body is catching up to her's which means he can fill her clothes better, but she's still far curvier than Hiccup will ever be.

Soon after his first visit to Dunbroch, Gothi creates some potions to help Hiccup blend in as his body changes with puberty. All they really do is sharpen his jawline and add deeper tones to his voice. Nothing drastic, but it's enough to fuel the illusion that his body is no different than his male peers. In addition to the potions he takes every week, he's created armor that's firm around his chest and padded by his waist in an effort to make his figure more masculine.

By the time Hiccup and the riders move to Dragon's Edge, he hasn't told any of his friends the truth about his gender, though he's gotten close to telling Astrid. They've gotten closer to being more intimate, but Hiccup always stops before they get too far. His body isn't what Astrid is expecting and that could change her feelings about him, change if she's attracted to him or not. He wants to be honest with her, but isn't ready to face the possibility of losing her as a romantic partner.

A few months of being on Dragon's Edge and Hiccup gets a package from Merida. He opens it late one night in the privacy of his hut (she's open about his gender, likes to address him as female when he visits because he's not opposed to it and she never wants him to forget he has a choice but it means he has to hide her letters and presents from his friends until he knows they're safe). It's a dress. A beautiful wool dress with a tartan overtop in the traditional Dunbroch colors.

_ A belated birthday present since you're too busy picking fights with everyone to come visit your very best friend (tell Toothless I said that). _

Hiccup chuckles at that. The war with Dagur and the Dragon Hunters had prompted him into delaying his usual trip and Merida wasn't quiet about how much she hated his decision. He relays the princess' declaration to Toothless who huffs indignantly.

_ I know you don't wear dresses over there but you're missing out on your yearly reminder that you can decide your fate, so do me a favor and put this on. Make Toothless draw me a picture of you in it so I know you followed through. _

He'll never admit it out loud, but it has felt weird not having his yearly dose of girl time and he's thankful Merida is thoughtful enough to consider that even if she's being kind of crass about it. The rest of her letter is mostly updates on her life, the troubles her brothers have gotten into, the attempts of the young lords to win her heart. As he starts the process of removing his armor and clothes, he contemplates what to send for her birthday.

The dress fits as well as he thought it would and he goes to the mirror to get a better look at it on him. It's a dark blue-green similar to Merida's favorite riding dress. He suspects that's so she could pass it off as her own instead of a gift to Hiccup since she's said before that he would look better in greens and reds. With the tartan wrapped around him, he looks as if he could be a part of the Dunbroch family, the daughter that takes after Elinor in appearance (and manners).

He turns on his heel to show off to Toothless and voice his joke aloud. That's the moment it strikes him that he's in his own hut, so close to Berk and home, and he's wearing a dress. For a split second, he wants to tear it off, get his normal clothes and armor back on, hide away before someone catches him being someone he's not supposed to be.

Except… he doesn't  _ want _ to.

Hiccup smooths his hands over the fine fabric of the dress, traces his fingers over the lines of the tartan, imagines Merida beside him calling him a "beautiful young woman that'll steal the hearts of every man that catches yer gaze." He thinks of the decision he made all those years ago. Is he allowed to change his mind? Did he ever really get to choose in the first place?

Dunbroch was his safe place. He could go there, be a girl with Merida, and pretend like it was his choice to be a boy when he got home. This is the first time he's been in this position while home is just outside his door.

Last time he had to think about this he was a different person that had to worry about his tribe shipping him away just because of his gender. Now, he's the hero of Berk, he's made himself an indispensable part of his people, proven to them that he's worth keeping around. Being a girl shouldn't change that. It shouldn't.

He doesn't want to take off the dress. He doesn't want to put that restricting armor back on. He doesn't want to be a boy right now.

Hiccup tunes out after that thought. The night is a blur of designing, tearing apart old pieces of armor to make new pieces, ripping through his (her) wardrobe to find the longest tunics buried at the bottom of the chest, fashioning new, looser bindings from the shorter tunics, hacking away at her hair in a frenzy.

The morning sun is shining through the window when Astrid enters the hut to retrieve Hiccup for breakfast. She pauses when she catches sight of the dragon rider on the floor, still in the dress Merida sent him (her), sewing a piece of leather armor, and hair a choppy mess.

"Hiccup, wha-," she's at a loss for words. Astrid strides forward and crouches in front of Hiccup, her hands hovering as if not sure if they should examine Hiccup's hair or gently pry the leather from his (her) lap. "What happened?" Maybe that's not the right question but it's all Astrid can think especially when Hiccup's lost eyes rise to meet her own.

"I don't want to be this anymore." Hiccup's voice is quiet, miserable. Astrid doesn't know how to respond. She doesn't know what Hiccup doesn't want to be, but she does know that Hiccup looks lost and broken so she'll focus on putting him (her) back together again.

"Just… don't do anything crazy. I'll be back." She hesitantly puts a hand on Hiccup's shoulder and gives a reassuring squeeze before leaving.

Astrid returns with breakfast and Tuffnut. The Thorston doesn't question Hiccup's state, simply waltzes in, helps Hiccup sit up on a stool, and gets to work on the rider's hair. He fills the quiet morning with mindless babble that Astrid is thankful for as she encourages Hiccup to eat some food.

She thinks Tuffnut must understand something she doesn't because Hiccup's hairdo ends up more feminine than Astrid would have made it. It's then that she actually looks at Hiccup and realizes her friend has breasts and hips beneath that dress. On the floor, Astrid notices the new armor and the lines on it that emphasize the shape of breasts, the dip of a waist, the flare of hips.

"You don't want to be a guy anymore."

Hiccup can't muster up the words to explain, but the anguish in her eyes say enough and Astrid understands how to fix this, now. She gives her friend that reassuring, determined smile that she knows lifts Hiccup's spirit and stands from her chair.

"All right, let's do this."

**Author's Note:**

> Find more on this AU, including art, on my tumblr @mdoodlerfandomart. Just look up Hidden Gender AU


End file.
